Evolving Relationships and Trauma

Those who are closest to us, the ones we feel safe and loved with, can create the ideal conditions that allow for new growth and transformation. On good days we might look at our partners and say thank you for helping me grow. The days when our partner is angry, unreasonable or distant: that’s our

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Negotiating Fear and Panic

How do we feel safe again in the world when we are facing stress and anxiety on a global level as we have never seen before? We are in a confusing and destabilizing time. Nobody knows what is going to happen tomorrow, next week, or a couple months from now. What’s it going to look

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Spiritual Bypass – Lost in Bliss

Everything is beautiful… in its own way. If any defense mechanisms could be called beautiful, it would be spiritual bypass. On the surface this looks great. I can be happy and I don’t ever have to feel sad again. Truth is, it’s the same as any other defense mechanism; it leaves us feeling disconnected and

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Avoidance Sabotages Growth

Why are we afraid of meeting ourselves just as we are? Scared to be with our thoughts, emotions and our true feelings? The major source of unnecessary anguish I see in my work are those who use avoidance as a way to cope. We have been taught to be afraid of so-called difficult emotions. We

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Intimacy, Relationships and Trauma

Relationships are one of our deepest issues. They are all about intimacy and that can be daunting and risky especially for someone who has never had a model of how to build a healthy, emotional relationship. It can feel out of reach. How We Learn Ever wonder why you behave in a particular way in

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