Most of us move through our day engaging in conversations with family, friends and co-workers. It’s the foundation of any healthy relationship. But are we really listening? Daily we find ourselves distracted by cell phones, other people or even our own thoughts and feelings. Although we think that we are listening, in reality we may not be giving our full attention.
To consciously listen is to pay attention to both our inner and outer landscapes. That is about me and how I am listening to you, how you are listening to me, and what happens in the space between us. Tune into yourself? Are you grounded? Notice what’s happening in your body, your thoughts. Can you be present without trying to judge? Let go and simply listen with compassion, stay be curious and open.
With conscious listening this allows you to be mindful and to respond rather than go into an automatic reaction. It’s important that when we get triggered we own it. Do a check in with yourself to see if you’re open and able to listen to the other person.
The space between us is the energetic, emotional, mental and spiritual connection that is established in the space between us. This is not an empty space; it contains a great deal of information. Every nuance, word, tone, look impacts the relational field created. When we feel heard and accepted, the space between feels safe and this field is filled with comfort, ease and love: it is healing. If there is judgment, it can feel tense, narrow, or heavy… bottlenecked.
Explore your own inner space. When you feel into the ‘space between’, do you recognize yourself and what it’s like to energetically feel yourself. This gives you a point of reference for what is you and what is happening in the inner space. Get to know the space between. How does the field feel when both of you are there? Can you energetically sense when the other shuts down… does it change the quality of the field?
Presence and Silence
Conscious listening means listening from your heart. It grows out of silence. There is power in silence when we listen to one another.
It’s a specific type of silence. Not the silence that is hard, critical, indifferent or withdrawn. It is silence that is holding, accepting of who and where you are and that you can rest on. A safe haven. We all crave even unknowingly for this silence that has so much presence. This silence can unite us with one another in a deeper way than using mere words.
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